SEEKING BLOODY MARY
The quest to find San Francisco’s best Bloody Mary began as
many H.E.A.D. Society adventures do, with a question. While just about all of
San Francisco’s 665 bars can make you a Bloody Mary; some rise above the rest
and a few are masters of this tasty creation. But how to find the best? Even
dedicated H.E.A.D. Trippers would find it difficult to hit all of the possible
bars.
Enter the internet! Your crack H.E.A.D. Research Team
scoured cyberspace looking for any article, blog, news item or list ranking San
Francisco’s best Bloody Mary bars. Turns out there are quite a few. The data
was compiled, cross-referenced and tallied. Looking for bars that showed up
more than the rest, three rose to the top, the Elixir, Thieves Tavern and Zeitgeist.
As luck would have it they’re all in the Mission District and just blocks
apart.
The plan was simple; eat, drink, drink, drink and crown a
winner. For food and rendezvous, we chose the Little Star Pizza. It was both
well Yelped and centrally located. To fortify ourselves, we started with pizza,
salad and a warm-up brew. Soon two new H.E.A.D. Rushers joined us. Emily and
Toby were on their inaugural trip. Coveted membership cards were issued and we
set off to our first stop, the Elixir.
The Elixir is a wonderful place. It is San Francisco’s
second oldest bar, dating back to 1858. Though it’s had a number of names and owners,
there has only ever been one bar at the corner of Guerrero and 16th Streets.
We sallied up to the bar, introduced ourselves and told the bartender of our
quest. He acknowledged that we’d come to the right place and recommended that
our Bloody Marys be made with Tito’s Vodka. Tito’s is distilled six times in
small pot stills (very cool) in Texas’ oldest licensed distillery (very historic).
We ordered and the bartender swung into action. Next thing
we knew, 4 beautiful, tall glasses stood before us. Now in most bars, the
bartender adds the garnish for you – maybe an olive or two and a stalk of
celery. Not at the Elixir. The drinks come unadulterated, garnish-free because
the Elixir has a special Bloody Mary garnish bar. That’s right, you
self-garnish. The bar has more than a dozen hot sauces, celery, pickle spears,
olives, pickled green beans and asparagus. There’s even a shaker so you can rim
your own glass with one of three choices – sea salt, beef bullion, and Old Bay
seasoning.
By the time we returned to our table my drink looked like it
had sprouted a salad. The first sip revealed spice and a hint of heat.
Refreshing and a great place to start. One down, two to go.
A short walk down the street and we found ourselves at the
all black storefront of Thieves Tavern. This place has “dive bar” written all
over it.
It took our eyes several minutes to adjust to the darkened
interior. We ordered a round and the bartender was hard at work. He paused to
apologize because they’d run out of bacon. To make up for it he took a dollar
of the price. No garnish bar but they came with a healthy spear of pickle,
olive, celery and marinated carrots.
We sipped our drinks in the darkness. They were good, really
good. Not nearly the spice of the Elixir but nice, light, and refreshing. Two
down. One to go.
Another couple of blocks and we entered Zeitgeist. No sign,
just a Playboy bunny silhouette painted on the door. Well almost the classic
Playboy bunny symbol but the head is a skull with those famous bunny ears. This
is a special place. Imagine if a biker bar and a German beer garden had
sex. Zeitgeist would be their love
child. The bar is big, busy and crowded, but just out back is a huge garden
area with long wooden tables and benches. Look up and there’s the Central
Freeway and a billboard. The Bloody Marys here were good, tasty and refreshing.
Liz found us a table in the bier garden. We finished our drinks,
ordered some beers and got down to business. We voted for San Francisco’s best
Bloody Mary. And the winner is…….(drum roll please)………a tie. What? That’s right
we ended in a dead heat between the Elixir and Thieves Tavern. A photo finish
and the votes were split evenly.
What’s a H.E.A.D. Society to do? Only one possible solution,
a Mary Off. Head-to-head between Thieves Tavern and the Elixir. History vs
Dive. Who will win? Will they have bacon this time? Stay tuned, sometime in
2014 it’ll be time to settle this epic cocktail battle and we’ll need your
help. An official H.E.A.D. Society winner’s plaque will be awarded.
My turn! Well, the best two things about the day were Toby
and Emily!!!! They are the H.E.A.D. Society’s newest, shiniest members. I think
in the right light they might even sparkle… Anyway, they’re very cute and
you’re all gonna LOVE them. Even if they did like a different Bloody Mary than
Ira and I did.
Elixir was fantastic! They invite you to make your own
Bloody Mary and when you decline, they’re so sweet, they make one for you! Then
they show you to the garnish bar which even has a metal cup to pour your drink
in if you want to rim your glass (which kinda sounds dirty but it’s not).
Ho – lee crap! That Thieves Tavern was a dive!!! The doors
were black, the windows were black, the floors were black, and, oh yeah, they
were all sticky, too. They made a good Bloody Mary, though, and I really want
to experience the bacon garnish. But my favorite was the Elixir’s. That garnish
bar rules!
Zeitgeist is a cool place, tucked up under the freeway.
Unremarkable Bloody M, but the beer was good, the crowd was friendly, and…Under
the Freeway! Didn’t eat and food there, but we have before and it was burger-y.
The coolest thing about the place is the long tables in the beer garden. It’s
the kind of place you could sit in and order beer after beer and talk for
hours…Hey sounds like a H.E.A.D. trip!
Santa Con this Saturday! Bustin’ out the red suit and the
black booties! See you then!
